Author Archives: valleygirl96

67 Calories

In the spirit of the New Year, and because Jay is getting married in June (WHAT??? I’m going to be a Mother-In-Law???), I’ve decided that I need to try to “get healthier.”  Well, that’s a vague phrase, isn’t it. I … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

The Pee-Pee Problem

Twenty two years ago, when I was pregnant for the first time, I was pretty clueless about the whole “wonder of pregnancy” thing.  Instead of being in awe and wonder at the miracle of life, I was totally grossed out … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Humor, Life, Middle Age, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Bring it on hard.

There’s stuff that people really like to be hard.  Like ice if you’re going fishing in January, or liquor.  Plenty of people like hard liquor.  I can think of other stuff, too, but I’d like to keep this a PG-13 … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Humor, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

Democrats – play nice.

I’m one of those people who still feels waves of nausea when I think about the next four years, living in the shadow of a spoiled bully who has absolutely no filter over his ignorant mouth.  Now, don’t get me … Continue reading

Posted in Life, Politics, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

No Nipple Twisting, Please

A skinny, floppy-haired Senior darkened my doorway this morning.  He’s coming from Jeanday Friday’s video production class – the class that broadcasts announcements and shows to the building, 6th -12th grade. “I have a question.  Is it appropriate to twist … Continue reading

Posted in Education, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Thank you, Officer Dickhead.

“Up against the car – spread ’em” A little dribble of pee might have run down my son’s leg at that point.  He didn’t include that detail in his story, but as jacked up as he was when he got … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Humor, Life, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Take That, Aging

Well, it’s that time of year again, girls.  It’s that time of year when we pull out those little short shorts and say “What the hell happened?” I went out on a limb at the end of last summer, said … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, Life, Middle Age, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Why I’ve Randomly Decided to Try to Resurrect My Blog

You know how people say “Time flies….”?   That’s complete crap.  It doesn’t fly; it moves at light speed.  Or at least in my world, that’s how the past three years have gone. I used to hang out here in … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Life, Parenting, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Empty Locker Breakdown

I grabbed the little guy’s sweaty palm and brushed a couple of pop tart crumbs off the Jeff Gordon t-shirt.  We walk through the doors and introduce ourselves to the Pre-school teacher.  She leads him to a little table full … Continue reading

Posted in Education, Family, Humor, Life, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

My Shitty First Draft

Currently I find little to be excited about in public education.  Between the standardized testing, the new Ohio Teacher Evaluation System, the Common Core curriculum, and the 7am start time, I’ve begun to become a little, disillusioned shall we say, … Continue reading

Posted in Education, Family, Humor, Life, Parenting, Uncategorized, Work | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments