In the Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, tenth edition, published in 1993, the definition of “snarky” is “to annoy, to irritate.” On of my favority synonyms for the word is “crotchety.”
Snarky, of late, has become a more popular term, at least around the Valley. In general use it could be synonymous with “bitchy.” Since crochety sounds like an old man, I’m going to go with “bitchy.”
I’ve got this wolfpack of teacher friends here in the Valley. For several years we have met for lunch, over which we talk about things that womenfolk who are friends do: fashion, family, jobs, students, administrators, politicians, the weather, aging, our parents, fingernail polish…you get the gist.
This may come as a shock to some of you, but at times we are “snarky.” Stuff happens in life. I’m sure you know what I mean. The coffeepot at work breaks, someone cuts in front of you after you’ve been waiting in line forever, your boss makes you jump through thirteen hoops just so you can take a couple of kids to a Shakespeare play – whatever. Those things make you – well, they make me – feel irritated at best and really ticked off at worst. When I talk about that stuff of life, I’m snarking. No bones about it – I snark.
It was the modus operandi of the wolf pack to drift from talk to snark on a regular basis. For the last six years my co-workers and I had to deal with an especially difficult member of our department, the head of the department. To be kind, she drove us batty. In fact, the general opinion of the whole staff was that she was overbearing, self-absorbed, and annoying. I make this statement based on the rolling eyes, frowns, slouching in chairs and looking at others with that “here she goes” look that happened when she began to speak. We snarked about her. We’ve shared especially difficult students. We have snarked about them. The administratiors and their infinite wisdom? If you’ve ever had a boss you know what I mean. If you work in a school, you really know what I mean. We have snarked about all of this stuff of life and more – all of us.
But the winds of change have blown through the Valley and suddenly some of the pack have decided that the answer to the title question is “Not to Snark,” which is fine. It’s a personal decision. In general, I agree that it’s not nice to be snarky, but what can I say? I’m a human being. I get irritated and I feel better when I vent, or snark, if you prefer. So, after deciding “not to snark,” the pack member has become the President of the “I Hate Snarking; I Have Never Been Snarky, and You Are Snarky So I Don’t Like You Anymore Club.” Yeah, I know. I thought the membership of that club was limited to those under thirteen. Who knew?
So since the President of the “IHSIHNBSAYASSIDLYAC” club is usually the lunch hostess and wants nothing to do with any snarkiness of any kind from anyone at any time, I’m starting my own lunch club now. It’s called the “Be Snarky If You Wanna Be” club. The president’s honor will go to whomever feels like being snarky for the day. Because sometimes people leave the copy machine jammed, or eat your hormone-laced carrots that were meant for the Science department’s bunny, or just generally poop on your parade. And when that happens, come down to 224 for lunch and snark away my friend. Snark away.